fucking. useless.
After fasting for three days then having a massive binge,I swore to only have 800 calories for a week. My logic was that 800 was enough to keep me from a late night binge but little enough lose the three pounds I gained but the days not over an I’m at 1165 already. I’m never going to make it to my goal if I keep this up. If I fail at this after failing at everything else in my life I’ll have nothing. I’m fucking useless.
control.
In the wake of the chaos that was Christmas, I find control to be more elusive than ever. All the holiday leftovers sitting on the counter beckon me. The harder I resist, the stronger the urge gets. I have packed on almost seven pounds since winter break started, thinking of returning to school like this makes me so ashamed. I just want to lock myself away with nothing but books to sustain me. I need a fantasy world, reality can go fuck itself. Starting at this very moment I’m beginning a fast, it’s the only way to fix the damage i have done. Hopefully you all have fared better against holiday temptation than i have- much love and Stay Strong <3
